There is no doubt in my mind that resource crunch in Mumbai is due to influx from other states and also I don't doubt when people from Maharashtra say that Raj Thackeray is voicing their opinion. I have seen a fair share of large cities around the world and Mumbai to me (fresh from Delhi) seemed like filth to live in. The clutter was unbelievable and city of dreams just a hype. But, there is always a but, the process of immigration is not limited to Mumbai alone. Each of us has a right to better our living standard. We follow that dream to Bombay, to London, to USA. And all around us we hear native people complaining. Why are they complaining?
In my mind I can only think of one reason "competition". People are not ready to work hard, to put that extra effort. They had taken this kind of life for granted .Their forefathers have worked hard to create that niche and now they can't think of giving it up and if not giving, trying to maintain it, not based on their ancient history but present toil. Other reason can be dilution of culture, discipline and law. I am always amazed by concept of traffic lanes in US roads and just the opposite in Indian roads. I am always amazed by lack of eve-teasing in some places which maybe a norm in some cities. Its part and parcel of mixing two different society and the prayer is always "May the best from both side win".
Most of us living outside India can identify with Biharis and UPites.We have been given our own Agni Pariksha in form of ridicule and hostility from wherever we have chosen to settle. We recognize that pain, the pain of leaving our comfortable environs, working hard but still being treated as sub-standard, questioned on our culture and tradition, feeling embarrassed because we have a certain set of beliefs or the way speak. But we followed our ambition ,for some it’s just better living standard and for some its roti, kapda and dowry.I don’t think blaming anybody for wanting to dream can solve the problem .Maybe the government should force some of industries to shift to Bihar and UP. This will of course cut down some revenue for state concerned but problem of immigration will also be solved. We should remember the world does not belong to a 90 year old lady who has lived in a certain kind of way and cannot tolerate being talked to rudely but the world belongs to those who have dream in eyes and are ready to talk dirty.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Being different or is it so different???
I have almost lived my entire maiden life at my maternal grandparent place which is not considered the proper thing to do in Indian society.I have found it to be a topic of discussion by some group of people.Over the years they have used it to rub my nose into it.I confess i have let it bother me for few of these times and today I felt the need to analyze it.This being brought by an incident.It so happened .I met one of my relatives after 10-15 years gap.In mood to talk atleast about something ,I remarked about not meeting them for these many year.To my utter confusion the answer was somewhat so out of context atleast that is what I thought at that time.It was something along the line "if you live at your -in laws this is what happens.I did not understand it then but the lines came back to me after few hours and enlightment dawned.I have never understood what the fuss is about till now.Each of us have different kind of live-in relationship and I happen to be living with an ever loving family maybe just not the expected set.Why have this always been contentious,brought up by foes whenever a need arose to attack our family,brought up by family when they need to score a point.As if its a shame which is seared forever."Oh you know this is actually not done but they are different"Not even understanding it completely,I felt it was ridiculous to form a sentence on it and now living so far away from India ,adapting to a diffrent culture, I find it ludicrous that someone still thinks about it and still remarks on it.I wonder if I meet them next time, would I be able to say these words "Grow up darling!! these things are petty matters ,much suitable for an illiterate mind which I hope you are not till now". I have moved too far in this walk of fame to let it affect me .Ghosts have been laid to rest long back ago.But really can I expect some intelligent topics of discussion from our female population or is it too much to ask for????or I will always be surprised like when I heard an educated woman bragging about bearing sons .In this span shouldn't some evolution or revolution be effected.
Taaare Zameen Par
TZP brought so many memories back.It brought back the ache which I felt each time my brother was ridiculed.Though we never gave it a scientific name ,my brother struggled with studies ,spellings and structure of sentences.He tried his best and as a result became increasingly frustrated and at a point just gave up.We too tried but now watch helplessely as he struggles to make something out of himself.He is a gem of person,good physique ,tall and dark but immature.I have seen him helping many but not appreciated by any,Sometimes to hide the pain I too have joined the bandwagon and ridiculed him.Aamir Khan depicted this hapless person I was but in the periphary doing nothing concrete but just scanning endlessly at the horizon for that inspring figure who could get through him but none came.Each Year it was the same bunch of desperate housewives with sensitivity of a cactus.
Many have thrown words of wisdom in the ring about education in India.It has been pointed out to me that Indian education does not believe in application of knowledge but just knowing the knowledge.More or less I agree and I shift blame towards the an area which is not seen as a highly probable cause.Indian education by and large is propelled by female teachers who would not have taken teaching as a career,had it not been the second best thing to do after failing in whatever they were striving for or those who were not ambitious enough and found this to be something which can be easily make money with perks of working lady in family life.It became a tool in hand of those dwarfed mindset which said "I belong to this rich family but now I am married into this poor family and what to do I have to work".They took their domesticated mindset into an arena which should have been razor sharp technology.In Indian context its really hard to rise above the coutless saas-bahu saga,the rich-poor divide and basically an insecure womanhood. Their unplesant personality fails to be sensitive towards the need of child but ultimately they get this limitless power to make them or break them.I dont know how a frustrated snobbish individual gets to safekeep the future of our country.
In my entire school life I have looked in awe at only two gurus.One my father,the amazement which I felt when any type of problems would become an easy exercise when he explained.He taught me to value knowldege above money.And the other, a history teacher, Sagarika Ghosh.If teachers can be personified I would choose her,simple mild and yet firm.Her melodious voice imprinted any history lesson in mind forever without help from books.A red bindi,a bengali kada and a starched Dhaka sari had that power to captivate me into respecting her.She told us she always knew she wanted to be a teacher.A humble aim but she worked hard towards it and it showed in her calm satiated aura.I have always wanted to scream out loud "Dont make teaching into just another profession,this line of work should be restricted to only those who love children and understand them.Not every Tom Dick and Harry should be allowed to do it".This is what I felt when I was in school and this is what I feel TZP is trying to reinforce. We need a change badly, from medicore to shining,in this field.
Many have thrown words of wisdom in the ring about education in India.It has been pointed out to me that Indian education does not believe in application of knowledge but just knowing the knowledge.More or less I agree and I shift blame towards the an area which is not seen as a highly probable cause.Indian education by and large is propelled by female teachers who would not have taken teaching as a career,had it not been the second best thing to do after failing in whatever they were striving for or those who were not ambitious enough and found this to be something which can be easily make money with perks of working lady in family life.It became a tool in hand of those dwarfed mindset which said "I belong to this rich family but now I am married into this poor family and what to do I have to work".They took their domesticated mindset into an arena which should have been razor sharp technology.In Indian context its really hard to rise above the coutless saas-bahu saga,the rich-poor divide and basically an insecure womanhood. Their unplesant personality fails to be sensitive towards the need of child but ultimately they get this limitless power to make them or break them.I dont know how a frustrated snobbish individual gets to safekeep the future of our country.
In my entire school life I have looked in awe at only two gurus.One my father,the amazement which I felt when any type of problems would become an easy exercise when he explained.He taught me to value knowldege above money.And the other, a history teacher, Sagarika Ghosh.If teachers can be personified I would choose her,simple mild and yet firm.Her melodious voice imprinted any history lesson in mind forever without help from books.A red bindi,a bengali kada and a starched Dhaka sari had that power to captivate me into respecting her.She told us she always knew she wanted to be a teacher.A humble aim but she worked hard towards it and it showed in her calm satiated aura.I have always wanted to scream out loud "Dont make teaching into just another profession,this line of work should be restricted to only those who love children and understand them.Not every Tom Dick and Harry should be allowed to do it".This is what I felt when I was in school and this is what I feel TZP is trying to reinforce. We need a change badly, from medicore to shining,in this field.
Monday, November 12, 2007
The Concept of Beauty
The other day I had to drop off my husband at work and woke up my 3 year old daughter .She was in her night dress and since the morning was a little chilly, I just had her put on a jacket over it to keep warm and rushed to the honking car. As soon as I stepped out off the house, she started crying and repeating incoherently “But I am not looking beautiful”. I was startled to hear that (OK truthfully panicked) and my mind went careening into one of those not so knowing but should know mother of child moments. “Why is a three year old girl (for crying out loud) so worried about not looking her best in morning”?
“Does she already know what a painful task is to put on makeup when you are half asleep rushing to be your professional best” or “Am I overly fussing over my looks and not inculcating the right values in her ”? “Did I do that to her”? Oh, My GOD!!!What have I done??Stupid!!! Stupid!! Is this a reflection on me? As I was plagued with doubts and hurling all kinds of recriminations at myself, I realized...Hey Stop!!...I am not that kind of working woman who preen endlessly in front of mirror and looks adorably her best the first thing in morning but that maybe due to the fact because I work from home. But even then, I think ( I know..better…. I think), infact just the opposite.
I am always surprised by how these super woman manage to look their best and rush through hectic mornings (as my mornings tend to be).What time do they get up in morning that they have time to indulge in this leisurely activity (maybe necessity for some) and how do they mix and match and know what looks right in those half awake hours. And certainly, “I don’t have this drawer full of cosmetics” or “Do I?" as I visualized my private space (and by the way just saw shoes). Or “Is it just the "girl thing” being conscious of your look at 3.What do they say about starting young these day? “BUT at 3”.
As I looked doubtfully at my daughter and thought maybe she is not so young any more. In the mean time my daughter had continued to go on and on about her bad looks for last twenty or so minutes. We tried to soothe her down and as any parent worth the salt tried to point out that she looks beautiful whatever the time of day is. I also had to (just had to) throw those motherly wisdom of "beauty is not skin deep" type of statements."You need to be gentle and kind to be beautiful". “You need to brush your teeth (in general cleanliness) to be beautiful”.” You need to be polite (in general good manners) to be beautiful”.
She must have noticed our lack of understanding and digressing away from her "you-not-getting it -at all–the-so-important point" and cried out "NO I AM IN MY NIGHT DRESS ".As the realization dawned on me, I said to my husband , "OH!! She is thinking she is going to school in her night dress”. I concluded with a sigh maybe it’s our fault (it always is by the way) ,appreciating her when she is dressed nicely and looking pretty and never voicing those opinions when she is as messy as possible but still managing to win the first prize in all the beauty contests there is . Well perish those thoughts for now, at least, she is still at that stage where she is thinking beauty is only "dress deep" and I have not managed to spoil her innocence (yet).
“Does she already know what a painful task is to put on makeup when you are half asleep rushing to be your professional best” or “Am I overly fussing over my looks and not inculcating the right values in her ”? “Did I do that to her”? Oh, My GOD!!!What have I done??Stupid!!! Stupid!! Is this a reflection on me? As I was plagued with doubts and hurling all kinds of recriminations at myself, I realized...Hey Stop!!...I am not that kind of working woman who preen endlessly in front of mirror and looks adorably her best the first thing in morning but that maybe due to the fact because I work from home. But even then, I think ( I know..better…. I think), infact just the opposite.
I am always surprised by how these super woman manage to look their best and rush through hectic mornings (as my mornings tend to be).What time do they get up in morning that they have time to indulge in this leisurely activity (maybe necessity for some) and how do they mix and match and know what looks right in those half awake hours. And certainly, “I don’t have this drawer full of cosmetics” or “Do I?" as I visualized my private space (and by the way just saw shoes). Or “Is it just the "girl thing” being conscious of your look at 3.What do they say about starting young these day? “BUT at 3”.
As I looked doubtfully at my daughter and thought maybe she is not so young any more. In the mean time my daughter had continued to go on and on about her bad looks for last twenty or so minutes. We tried to soothe her down and as any parent worth the salt tried to point out that she looks beautiful whatever the time of day is. I also had to (just had to) throw those motherly wisdom of "beauty is not skin deep" type of statements."You need to be gentle and kind to be beautiful". “You need to brush your teeth (in general cleanliness) to be beautiful”.” You need to be polite (in general good manners) to be beautiful”.
She must have noticed our lack of understanding and digressing away from her "you-not-getting it -at all–the-so-important point" and cried out "NO I AM IN MY NIGHT DRESS ".As the realization dawned on me, I said to my husband , "OH!! She is thinking she is going to school in her night dress”. I concluded with a sigh maybe it’s our fault (it always is by the way) ,appreciating her when she is dressed nicely and looking pretty and never voicing those opinions when she is as messy as possible but still managing to win the first prize in all the beauty contests there is . Well perish those thoughts for now, at least, she is still at that stage where she is thinking beauty is only "dress deep" and I have not managed to spoil her innocence (yet).
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